Wave Chasing

And the universe smiled on me.

It was about 2K less than I’d initially planned for.

The relief I am feeling right now is immense.

Still pissed, cause I don’t fucking want an implant, and I even told this dentist when I started seeing him that my last dentist was too fucking implant happy (they run 8K around here before insurance) and he nodded and agreed. But if he thinks not having an implant will fuck up my bridge, well, shit, I’m stuck I guess.

Now, the good news is that I do have a savings account where I set aside money specifically for medical expenses and taxes, so I can pull some money from that. (Hadn’t even thought of that earlier, I was just so pissed off.) It won’t cover the whole 4K, but at least not *all* of it will be debt.

It’s just…one step forward, five steps back, I swear. This year, I finally got a raise that beat inflation. Only to have survival costs immediately go through the roof thanks to the pedophiles running the country. (The war literally started not even two weeks after our raises kicked in.) All while management desperately wants to replace us all with AI bullshit.

Oh and in my unmedicated fight against my ADHD, I am trying saffron water – literally just 3 crushed strands in a cup of warm water, steep for 10 minutes, drink.* It’s supposed to be good for your brain receptors. I figure it’s better than some weird supplement that could accidentally kill me, but I also couldn’t tell you if it’s helping because I keep forgetting to do it. (I did today at least.)

It would just be great if everything wasn’t a huge fucking struggle.

I know I am not at all unique here. We are ALL Going Through It with this administration, our employers, and late stage capitalism in general. I’m just fucking tired.

* This is only if you are UN-medicated. If you’re already on meds, don’t do this – your meds are already doing things to your receptors and this will be overboard.

Tip Jar

I’ve had problems with one of my bottom back teeth for a while. Root canal & crown ages ago, failed, did a re-treat, which also failed. Told the dentist to just yank the damn thing.

But of course, it can’t just be that. He wants to do a bone graft and then an implant later, because he’s concerned about the bridge that is above it.

FOUR FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS.

AFTER **IN NETWORK** INSURANCE AND A FUCKING DISCOUNT.

Healthcare in this country is completely and utterly broken.

Tip Jar

And then some.

I did the thing I loathe doing, which is put on music and then knocked out the entire to do list. All of it and a bit ahead to boot.

I don’t know why I hate putting on music when it works every damn time, but I do. I wouldn’t judge anyone else for it, but lordy do I judge myself on it.

Stats for the Day:

Mental Health: Pretty Good

To Do list accomplished: 109% – all told it was about an hour and twenty minutes and I didn’t really notice, because of the music, goddamitsomuch.

Net Worth: Down .14%
Debt Load: No change 

Spending on not-regular bills: $27 (supplies for a gift)

Debt payoff date still May 2034

Retirement still 70.

I had grand plans and the very best of intentions today. Nothing out there to spend money on, a to do list that was gonna get knocked out.

Then the gas station had to happen. (3.90 a gallon, FML.)

And the grocery store.

And it was the first truly gorgeous day we’ve had this spring. And then it became, fuck it, tacos and day drinking outside in the sunshine.

Then stretched out on my bed with the cats with the ceiling fan on hurricane mode and gently dozed for a nice amount of time and forgot about the shitshow that is living in the US for a while.

Was it a productive day? Not really.

Was it a good day? Hell yes.

Separate from everything – I saw this morning that WordPress will allow AI agents to create/manage/post content – that will NOT be happening here. Everything here is 100% me.

Stats for the day:

Mental Health: Medium to Good

To Do list accomplished: 47%

Net Worth: Down 1.13% (Turns out incompetence in government and illegal wars are bad for my 401k and my very sad little brokerage account)
Debt Load: No change 🙂

Spending on not-regular bills: $54

$17 on cat supplies, $37 on lunch for two. (Voted on VA redistricting today, it needed a treat afterwards.)

Debt payoff date still May 2034

Retirement age back to 70.

Also got into a tiff with management about AI tools, but didn’t get fired (yet) so, mixed bag, LOL.

It’s payday, though, so YAY!

Stats for the day:

To Do list accomplished: 32%

Net Worth: Up 1.37%
Debt Load: DOWN!! .25%

Spending on not-regular bills: $285.

Sigh. $100 out the door for groceries, $100 for wordpress, $90 on the cats, and $25 on a book*, but $28 in cashback on my credit cards.

*Yes, I need to go to the library, I know, but at least it was from an indie bookshop.

Things don’t feel *quite* so soul crushing at the moment, so that’s something.

Had a decent enough day at work – got stuff done, didn’t cuss anyone out.

Got some minor things done around the house.

Realizing I’m dealing with ADHD burnout and I need to do something about that, and I also need to start working out again. Problem is, when you’re fried and drained, it’s fucking hard to start working out again.

I did hit my step goal for the day, but…my Garmin bases it off historical numbers, so, we’re not talking 10K here.

Stats for the day:

To Do list accomplished: 55% – nothing major, but hey, it’s something.

Net Worth: Up .15%
Debt Load: Up .03%

Retirement Age – 69.9!! (Sure, I’m an unexpected root canal away from it being 75 or never, but hey, it’s ever so slightly closer and some days you need to grasp at whatever straws are there.)

And somehow still employed, despite everything, so that’s something.

I’m hoping that if I start putting this out into the universe again, I can get my shit together.

Stats for the day:

To Do list accomplished: 11%

Net Worth: Down .10%
Debt Load: Up .11%
Debt Payoff Date: May 2034 (This seems…optimistic, but it’s what the spreadsheet says)
— Car Loan payoff: Feb 2027
Retirement Age: HAHAHAHAHA. 70? Maybe?

Onwards and upwards and all that.

Gawd, everything is SHIT.

I am struggling to re-establish any kind of routines for the house.

Work is work, but every day I wonder “is this the day our shitty executives decide we can all be replaced with AI?”

My finances are shit, because I have to support another person and I just don’t make enough money for that, and it seems not a day goes by that I don’t have to spend money on *something*.

Oh, and the whole fascists running the country thing to boot.

But, trying HARD to focus on the positive.

• I still have a job
• I have a roof over my head
• I have two great cats
• I at least got the daily stuff done today around the house