Wave Chasing

Refinance closed last week, all the various and sundry creditors have been getting their money and I feel like the biggest damn weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Set aside for taxes and medical costs are fully funded. House fix up fund is 19% funded (it’s a big fucking number, so 19% is still a lot) and the Oh Shit fund is 38% funded. Fully funded my Roth IRA for 2022 and 2023. Put a little extra to my car loan and student loans this month, too. (I am currently on track to pay off the car 10 months early.)

Mind you, the same day I dumped the proceeds into an S&P index fund, Silicon Valley Bank collapsed and I instantly lost $700… But despite the fact that I keep hearing that SVB won’t set off a chain reaction – I think we’re gonna see some additional tightening of credit markets, the Fed isn’t gonna cut rates to help, and it’s probably best that we did the refi/cash out when we did.

I’m trying really hard to not go nuts cause “ooh, I have money” – but I did get a Roomba for the house (it is great) and I’ve been sending it off on multiple adventures this weekend – I know I still need to vacuum to hit corners and whatnot, but running this 2-3 days a week is gonna be a huge help.

Amazingly, the house hasn’t fallen apart, though I have been very tired and scatterbrained and distracted this week, so today is a catch up and reset day – but the nice thing is that there is nothing THAT hard or egregious to deal with, and that is really freaking nice. Still have to lean heavily on comfy pants and headphones, but it’s all good.

Onwards.

I. Am. TIRED.

Over the past month we have done a spectacular, massive clear out of this place. The appraisal is tomorrow afternoon. Refinance closing is scheduled for the 28th.

My consumer/medical debt will be clear. There will be house fixing money, dental money, and oh shit money. My debt payments will drop by 40%.

I might actually be able to retire.

Very fucking slowly, but it’s going.

We have scheduled the junk haulers to come in 19 days.

I am actively working with the mortgage broker on the refinance.

Gonna get this house clean and my finances unfucked once and for all.

But, I did it and once I just opened my mouth and said, “Wanna get some cash out of the house instead of sitting on a big illiquid asset” – he said sure, sounds like a great idea.

Then I had to break it to him that there would need to be an appraisal and we have to de-junk the house, LOL.

But I told him I would start upstairs and he can start downstairs and we’ll meet in the middle.

And I feel like a huge weight has been lifted.

But some things are good for 2023.

I’ve exercised every damn day this year.

I’ve gotten all the daily to-do’s around the house done every damn day, and managed to do some extra stuff.

Money? I. Am. Fucked. 7K dental bill in December and my brother is in his own cash crunch (the job market ain’t as great as you’d think) and is 2 months behind in paying me, and there are massive tech layoffs everywhere.

I think I’m gonna have to take equity out of the house. I could kill my debt, save a shit-ton of money a month doing that, and have some good cash reserves if things go sideways job wise.

Thing is – I gotta talk to my brother about it, because he co-owns the house. I mean, it would help him, too – some of that cash could cover him and give him some breathing room. But I just don’t want to say, “Hey, your big sister got wiped out by the 2008 recession, and never really recovered thanks to 124K in medical expenses in the last 10 years” – it feels like such a fucking fail.

And fuck, if I had that medical money back, I’d have zero damn problems, and I cannot begin to tell you how much THAT pisses me off.

If it was just me, I’d get the money out of the house in a heartbeat. But if he’s not keen on it, I suppose I could buy him out – get the equity, give him 20% of his half and see if he’d finance a 10 or 15 year note for the rest.

But none of that is gonna matter if I can’t get up the freaking nerve to bring it up.

Adulting sucks.

And I am effin’ broke, the house is a mess, and I’m out of shape.

But it’s a new month and I’m gonna give it all another go.

So, yeah, not great, but hey, new week and new month and I can always do better.

Health-wise, 300 points may have been a stretch yet again…but still beat 150.

House wise…OMG, terrible, but we’ve got a three day weekend and I’m hoping to get caught up on things. Couple late nights at work and just general IDK, non-functioning this week. Gawd, I wish I was more normal.

Finances…the chart is deceptive cause it has estimates for everything except discretionary – cause that is just hard to estimate. I’ve got roughly $1000 to work with after bills and the things I could easily estimate that I can throw to discretionary and extra debt payoffs – and it seems like a lot, except for the fact that yesterday I went to the market… 24 bottles of beer, 1 20oz Pepsi, 8 rolls of paper towels, and 24 rolls of toilet paper ran me 96 FUCKING DOLLARS. The beer was WAY cheaper than the paper products. I triple checked the receipt to make sure that nothing got scanned more than once, but nope, paper towels and toilet paper are just HELLA EXPENSIVE. At least I shouldn’t have to buy them again right away… But last month, groceries ran, well, A LOT and year over year, it’s increased by 29% – and our eating habits haven’t really changed at all.

And, I still need to run back to the market today… FML. But, gotta eat.

I also need to replace my sandals, *sob*.

• Don’t get fired or laid off
• Hit the basics around the house, cause it’s probably gonna be a long work day. Anything extra is a bonus.
• 32 Fitbit activity points
• Don’t spend money on dumb shit

I think it’s doable!

Tried to be extra mindful today, but it also turned into a bit of a bad brain day, so I ended up being very mindful of how bad my brain is. Came into the weekend thinking I would have to work, decided it fuck it, no, they have gotten enough unpaid OT out of me, if Monday is a long day, it’s a long day, so be it.

You’d think I’d be all, “Well, good, day properly freed up, let’s get some things done!” But, instead I felt guilty about not working for free and ended up with a fair amount of what I can only describe as mental paralysis and as such, didn’t get a ton done. Basically, I’m Pingu between the kettle and phone – even if the phone stopped ringing.

What is so weird is that I don’t really have this problem at work. I get pulled between things all the time, and I get annoyed as fuck, but I take a break and clear my head and change direction as needed.

But back to the day in review.

What did I do to save money?
– Ground a bag of coffee beans & made two pitchers of cold brew for the week
– Salad for lunch vs. takeout

Where did I fuckup on saving money?
– Spent $ on a game…happens about every 3 months. But I do play the game and enjoy it, so…

What did I do to improve the house?
– Emptied the dishwasher, cleared the sink, scrubbed the sink, did the disposal drops, AND degunked the soap dish!
– Then degunked the soap dishes in the upstairs bathroom! (Sometimes small detail work can be very satisfying.)
– Helped my brother vacuum the basement ceiling to prep for ant spraying. (Nextdoor tells me we’re not the only one battling them right now. ND is good for some things…)
– Cleaned the toaster oven
– Wiped down the mixer
– Scrubbed down the little end table next to my dresser (so dusty!) and moved Lily’s water dish & food bowl down from the dresser. She’s showing her age a bit, so this will be easier for her to get to. It’s not that she can’t jump from the little table to the dresser anymore, but she has been doing a LOT of math before making the leap lately. (Her food & water used to be down there – can’t really remember why it got moved – I suspect the dog may have been jumping up and eating it back in the day.)

What did I do for my health?
– Salad!
– Reset my activity points goal to 225 a week – takes into account that the Fitbit is overly sensitive, but also a realistic goal. 300 was just a bit too much if I don’t have some big walking activity over a weekend like a fair or something.
– As such, got 42 points!

Not the worst day in the end.

Overall fair to middling, but that happens.

Health! Going for 300 activity points may have been a bit of a stretch, but maybe I’ll take a walk later today. But I am very well hydrated!

House…was hard this week. Not sure why, but it just was. Hopefully I can beat “Dusty” before the end of the month – not too far behind!

Money. Ugh, the root of all stress. But I am still ahead for the month. Barely – but ahead. Of course, there are still 4 days left in the month… Estimated time to retirement – 15.2 years. It keeps moving all over the damn place, LOL. Kinda surprised groceries ended up so high, but it is what it is, but I’ll be watching that one more closely next month.

Gotta say, it’s not that I hadn’t been watching my expenses and whatnot all my life, but I hadn’t been looking at it *like this* and damn, it is so much clearer here. The debt is very frustrating, because it’s basically all from fucking dental expenses. And I’ve got more on the horizon, oh joy.

But, it is what it is, I’ll get there eventually.